“Guess what?” my dad used to ask. In a household of four kids and my mother, someone was bound to be near and would always hear the question and ask “What?”, giving an automatic answer as in a “knock-knock” joke “Who’s there?” routine. We would hear his question knowing something wonderful and unexpected was about to be announced. “Stu got accepted to X University,” he answered on one occasion when we learned the son of a family friend’s good news. These queries were regular and there was a wide array of answers, each one filled with the anticipation of the news we were about to hear. The following questions and answers are some he directed towards me.
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“The neighbors have dewberries in their back lot and they’ve invited everyone to pick it out.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“Mr. H. and his family are going to Dallas to watch “The Sound of Music” live at the State Fair Music Hall and they’ve invited Georgette to go.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“I saw a porpoise and its baby swimming in the canal this morning while I was mowing the lawn and Robert’s crab trap has a crab.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“Your mother and I have a special gift for you in the dining room for graduating from junior high. As soon as you get dressed and brush your teeth, come and see.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“How would you like to visit your uncle and aunt in Spain this summer? Your uncle called and said they would like to have you visit this summer.”
This last exchange is memorable. I could not believe it! I had met my uncle, aunt and cousins once before for a family wedding and that they would open their home to me was completely unexpected. How would I like it? I would absolutely love it and be forever grateful for the opportunity…that’s how I would like it!!
Dad’s queries laid a firm foundation of expecting the best, looking for what’s around the next corner, being surprised as a natural rhythm and just greeting each day enthusiastically with whatever it might present. How lucky I was to enjoy his childlike wonder and the fresh showers of good news. How fortunate I was to hear and see things through his eyes, from his perspective and just be in his presence as he made these announcements “live.”
This pattern which usually carried happy news, sometimes varied and also, informed us of sad news.
“I have some sad news.”
“What?”
“Your grandmother is very sick.”
When grave news was announced, we didn’t just continue with our routine of whatever we were engaged in. Instinctively, we knew it was a call to gather. And so we would gather at the kitchen table or the living room, asked questions, discussed the matter and left with a better understanding of how life would be different from then on. His calm voice simply delivered the facts, yet his gentle nature gave us the gifts of faith, hope, patience and strength.
Many years later I could still feel the rhythm of Dad’s messages. When my daughters wanted to know something, I would respond with “Watch.” Watch me look up the word. Watch me thread the needle and sew on the button. Watch me wrap the package and tie the bow. Many times I would just model and show one of the steps. Today one daughter is a math and science teacher, the other is a computer technologist for her school. I often wonder if the conversational rhythm of breaking things up into steps, following a method and a pattern influenced the path each one followed.
Our younger daughter also, created a familiar pattern of asking “May I ask a question?” This always prefaced something she really wanted to know in order to get our attention. I knew when she prefaced her questions like this it was time to drop what I was doing and give her my undivided attention. With her “May I ask a question?” she simply and effectively commanded her audience like my dad had done.
I reflect on this Father’s Day and want to share part of the legacy that this joyful man who was such a positive force in our lives left for generations to come. He was the son of a Dr. of jurisprudence from the University of Groningen in Holland, and his own mother often said if she hadn’t been a wife of the Dutch consul in Mexico and mother of five, she would have enjoyed studying engineering. My dad became the engineer. He earned his degree from MIT. He was good at breaking things down into parts, making simple and logical steps. When he spoke at home or out of the house people listened. When there was a Spanish speaker out in the community, he immediately connected with them, and the broad smiles exchanged in conversation communicated volumes. When he spoke at our church in the fellowship hall over coffee and donuts, there was always a circle of people listening and commenting alike. As he spoke at a school board meeting or as booster president, people listened and considered his comments. Sunday afternoons we usually had my parents’ friends and their kids over. He was a superb host and the conversation was always interesting…no, fascinating. He talked about ideas, not people. He laughed about the subtleties. The twinkle in his eye filled with warmth needed no words. It was tacit and it was deep. He loved my mother, a very beautiful woman. He was 27 when they married, she was 20. He encouraged her to pursue a bachelors, masters and doctorate degree. She did.
When I got embroiled in details, he scolded me, “All work and no play make for a very boring person.” When I self-consciously wondered what people would think, he sobered me with “Don’t flatter yourself.” Yet when I was confused and afraid, he dropped what he was doing even if I called him at work. Bless him. He had four of us and I know my siblings always felt confident of his abiding presence too.
Georgette Sullins and Georgette Sullins’s Blog, June 17, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Georgette Sullins and [Georgette Sullins’s Blog] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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My favorite, “The twinkle in his eye filled with warmth needed no words.”
Thank you for sharing him with us! MJ
I miss that tacit exchange. Thank you for coming by to meet the #1 man in my life…besides my husband, of course.
What a wonderful life and legacy you received from your father. We need more dads like that. Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you for reading Patti. We all miss him very much…but he is still with us.
Gosh Georgette. What an honor to read this about your Dad. I had to stop and wipe my eyes several times. Not only did you share a wonderful story, but you provided a wonderful lesson. I will pay more attention to rhythm responses. I love your use of “watch”.
~Lenore
Thank you for reading Diane. He was my heroe and I do miss him very much.
What a great entry about your father. My father was also a very strong influence in my life and in my children’s life as well. He just passed away in 2005 at the age of 94! Thanks for sharing your memories and making mine come alive as well.
Thank you for visiting. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone since ’89. I’d like to hear about your dad.
What a nice tribute to your father. He sounds like he was a great man.
He was. And you know something else? He loved wonderful food. I know he would have liked the anise biscotti and the shrimp dip.
Sounds like your dad was a very special man, and taught you so many valuable lessons, which you’ve passed onto your children. Just as it should be!
Happy Father’s Day, Dianna. Thank you for reading. It’s so hard to believe Dad has been gone 22 years. The memory is so clear and I thank this blogging experience to make me put the memory into words.
I second that thanks, both for your having put them to words . . . and for blogs in general, helping to clarify what came before and our feelings about it in a way that might otherwise be hard to attain!
Thank you for visiting. I’ll be home today after being two weeks on the road so my reading and commenting should become less sporadic. I do want to write these memories for my family so I can compile them in a self published book for the family…what joy to me that any words I write transcend my family.
What a beautifully written tribute. I love the photo of your father and grandfather!
Glad to have found your blog, and look forward to reading more.
Thank you for stopping by. I need to go visit you. I love that photo too. Back in the day of staid pictures, they were “cutting edge” in unabashedly sharing their joy and affection. I was oh so lucky and blessed.
Great reflections on your dad. My dad was also often energetic about surprises and was always getting us excited about things.
The best legacy a dad could leave. Thank you for sharing and stopping by this Father’s Day and Happy Father’s Day to you, too!
[…] also a budding cupcake star. As for the graceful and witty Georgette, well just check out her Father’s Day tribute. A few other bloggers have humbled me with this award. Thanks again. The next time I mess up […]
LOL..you make me giggle.
What a great tribute to your dad! My father is also awesome–his signature phrase is, “I had a vision!” And this would be followed by some completely out of the blue idea like, “let’s go check out the Mark Twain house!” He also has a great sense of wonder and adventure!
Thanks for sharing 😉
Ohhh…thank you for understanding. He really set a tone and rhythm with that phrase. The momentum still lingers. As always, thank you for reading and commenting.
The photo of your Dad and Grandfather is priceless. I had to look twice. At first I thought it was just a photo you found of movie stars representing fathers. They both look as if they could’ve been movie stars. I know what you mean about the many years he has been gone. My Mom has been gone over 30. Seems like yesterday one day and forever the next.
I miss him and carry him around with me always. He was such a cheerful, positive spirit…not to mention brilliant engineer! So glad you could meet someone so close to me whose memory I cherish.
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